Things always change quickly in my world

I really need to post more often. Like, three times a day should suffice - that's about how often things change for me. 

I was on Facebook earlier, and my "about" says "constantly in a state of flux", which is what I set it to probably ten years ago when I joined. Well, not a lot has changed.

In the time since my last post, I picked up the RV, had it insured, safetied and started decorating.

It was parked in my brother's garage lot at the time while I was saving enough to have it retitled to me (and pay the taxes on it). I finally got enough to do that and get it plated. Then a whole bunch of stuff happened, as it does to me, one of the things being I actually got to drive it further than a few blocks. 

I was pretty petrified. I make it no secret that I have anxiety that can be extreme, and driving such a large vehicle set off my anxiety in a big way. It felt like it would tip if I took a corner too fast, I had trouble backing up, paranoid I didn't fit in the lane... etc. To a normal person, these are things that are easily overcome, but I think in black and white, and doubt started to pile up. Gas would be expensive, I'd be afraid to drive over 70km/h... probably 60. There are too many systems to malfunction, and big money to spend when they did. And then there's the propane system. I've been afraid (to the point of freaking out near anything on propane, ask my family!) since I was a kid, and having three things run on it, plus a big tank underneath, was really unsettling to me.

I probably should have considered all this more, you know, before I bought the RV. Trust me, I know. This is just how my mind works - white is all good, everything will be amazing. Then a little upset, and everything is stained black, and it's hard to get that to switch back. 

Constantly in a state of flux.

Anyway, I ended up selling the RV for what I had into it. I could have made more if I'd held out longer, but I was eager to get another vehicle and get on the road. 

I do have further updates, but I'm going to hold off for a couple days while I settle some things out. Either I'll be happy and working on a new van, or I'm not going to be a happy camper. 

Stay tuned!