I did end up selling Thelma, and although it was a great van and super convenient, I'm (mostly) glad I did. I've had a few months in a house to reflect on my brief experience with van life, and I'm absolutely better prepared for it now.

What I learned:

Stealth is Key

Thelma was cool because it was all done. Pre-packaged RV with the electric, cooking, sleeping and storage all built in. Given that I started my real van life journey in the fall, I didn't really give myself time for a DIY build, and jumped when I got such a good deal on her. However being primarily stationary, I found it... awkward finding places to park. I didn't want to really be noticed and potentially have someone ask me to leave. It's pretty obvious with a conversion van that someone is living inside, or at least staying inside, and that was a source of anxiety for me.

My next van needs to be a lot more stealthy and able to blend in. I'm planning to go for a plain cargo van, or perhaps something faux commercial. This way I'll be able to cycle through a smaller number of good parking spots without being too rememberable.

Power Source is Necessary

There were a few nights where it was abnormally hot and humid. I ended up staying at a campground just for the ability to plug in and run the air conditioner. It also gave me a chance to charge my batteries. The van had two, a vehicle and house, which were charged by running the van. I noticed though that running the vent fan all night on cooler days, and the interior lights for a couple hours, pretty much drained the house battery completely. One night I parked on the street and left the fan on low, and woke up to a dead house battery. Luckily the main was fine and I could start the van, but definitely a lesson was learned.

New plan is to install solar first thing with at least one house battery to power the lights, charge my devices and run the fan. I'll increase that to two house batteries totalling 200 amp hours once I invest in a real fridge. Those will primarily be charged by a 200W solar panel I'm going to mount on the roof. 

The final stage of powering up I hope to have in place by mid-June. I'll be putting a storage box on the trailer hitch, and storing a gas generator inside. This way I can hook up some air conditioning for the really hot days and the trip to Burning Man in August. 

Other People Don't Matter So Much

This comes with a lot of self-reflection that I'll try to briefly explain. I have a personality disorder, so my thinking and reactions aren't well-reasoned sometimes when I'm stressed, embarrassed or overwhelmed. I think in black and white, so when things are good they're great, but the littlest detail can switch my opinion in an instant. It's very rarely a permanent switch, and it's gotten a lot better with therapy and mindfulness, but when I'm triggered by something, it can be impossible to change my mind without heavy resistance. And hard for me to realize it's happening.

The little thing that threw me off was some stranger who I'd been talking to about watching Dozer during the day while I was at work. I'd put an ad on Kijiji just for a place to leave him while I was out, and a woman answered two was on disability and home all day. Cool. I went to her place to meet her and discuss what I needed and what I was paying, and she had some questions about why I needed a place for my dog, which is completely understandable. I told her honestly that I had a RV/van I was living in, and I wanted my dog to be safe in the daytime heat while I was out. 

Well, she thought this was terrible and I must be some poor soul who needed saving. She ended up offering me money and a place to stay until I "got on my feet", which wasn't what I wanted at all. To her, I was a charity case, and that embarrassed me immensely. Did others feel that way too? In my mind, her opinion was the one everyone must hold, and I was just so ashamed, and turned my thinking back to black, where it must be a terrible idea to live in the van.

This of course directly contradicted all my friends who thought it was the coolest thing ever and were all super jealous of me. Even my family was on board. I mean, I didn't see that coming, but there it was! Crazy brain though would have none of it, and from there little annoyances with van life turned into deal breakers. Except they weren't. 

I know, I KNOW this is something I need to work on more. I'm currently looking for a therapist who specializes in my personality disorder to help me on this, as it affects every area of my life. 

I'm rambling. Anyway.

I'M GETTING ANOTHER VAN!

That's right folks, a winter in my own space (and paying my own bills, woah) has given me a lot of time to reflect, and I need to do what I promised to: stick to The Plan. 

As of April 1st, I'll be out of this house. The plan (lowercase "p", there's a difference) is to buy a van early to mid-March. I'll spend the two plus weeks before I move doing as much conversion as I can, and finish it up along the way. 

Stay tuned for the next post, when I'll go over some specifics of my build intentions. This time, I want to do it right and commit. Try to keep me accountable, okay?